Wolves travelled to the south coast hoping to build some (any) momentum and instead delivered the footballing equivalent of accidentally walking into a lamppost in public. Brighton barely had to break a sweat as they cruised to a 3-0 win at the Amex, while Wolves defended with all the urgency of people queuing at the post office on a Monday morning.
Still, in the spirit of optimism, or delusion, here are two good and two bad from another unforgettable afternoon for all the wrong reasons.
Good: It could have been worse
Look, when you concede twice in the opening five minutes, there is always the possibility the afternoon turns into one of those scorelines Sky Sports keeps replaying for the next decade. Thankfully, Brighton eventually took pity on Wolves. Had they kept the same intensity they showed in the opening stages, this could easily have finished six or seven. Wolves spent large parts of the first half looking like a group of strangers who had only met each other in the car park before kick-off, after finishing the half with 0.00 xG and 0 shots on target.
Yes, Wolves did hit the bar through Yerson Mosquera, but that felt more like Brighton briefly allowing the opposition to participate than an actual turning point in the game. So really, only losing 3-0? Progress.
Good: The Weather Was Nice
Sometimes football gives you moments of joy. Other times, you find yourself complimenting the climate because your team has offered absolutely nothing else. To be fair, the south coast sunshine looked lovely. Clear skies, warm temperatures and a beautiful seaside backdrop. If you ignored the football entirely, it was probably a wonderful day out.
Unfortunately, Wolves decided to ruin the atmosphere by playing football in it. Brighton supporters were enjoying the sunshine pre-match, and honestly, fair play to them because their team gave them something to smile about. Wolves fans just got sunburn and emotional damage.
Bad: That was an absolutely awful performance
Where do you even begin to analyse this game? Wolves started the game with all the composure of someone trying to carry six drinks back from the bar. Within 1 minute, they were already 1-0 down; within 5 minutes, they were 2-0 down. The midfield had vanished into another dimension, and Brighton were strolling through gaps big enough to park a bus in.
There was no energy, no aggression and very little indication that anyone in Old Gold particularly fancied the occasion. Every Brighton attack looked dangerous, while every Wolves attack looked like it needed written permission to enter the final third. At one point, Wolves managed to string together a few passes, and it genuinely felt worthy of applause. Brighton were good, but Wolves made life unbelievably easy for them.
Bad: Defending straight out of League Two
Calling it “defending” might actually be generous. For Brighton’s opener, Wolves allowed Hinshelwood enough space to settle down, think about his options and probably update his LinkedIn profile before scoring. Minutes later, Lewis Dunk was given the freedom of the penalty area to make it 2-0 while the Wolves’ back line stood around like they were waiting for a rail replacement bus.
The organisation was non-existent, the communication appeared optional and every time Brighton went forward it looked like complete panic had set in. League Two sides might actually feel insulted by the comparison.
Wolves arrived at the Amex looking like a side hoping to finish the season strongly and left looking like they accidentally wandered into the wrong sport altogether. Yes, the weather was lovely, and yes, it somehow was not six or seven, but that is about where the positives end. The performance was flat, the defending was chaotic, and Brighton barely had to move out of second gear to collect three points.
For fans, this was another reminder that Wolves still have huge problems to solve before next season. Because if the defending on display here carries over into the new campaign, fans might need more than sunshine and sarcasm to get through it.
