As a great man once said; “YOU’VE GOTTA FUCKIN DIE TO GET THREE POINTS”, and the lesser appreciated, but very relevant “ooh aye it’s good”.
The first league meeting between Wolves and That Lot for over 14 years was never going to be anything other than massive, especially after the scenes in the FA Cup a couple of years ago.
1-0 was the score, three points was the prize, but not without 90 minutes of slapping Them about the sun-kissed Molineux pitch.
Truly, everyone deserves a 10 for the virtue of showing up today, however, that’s also the kind of slapdash, half arsed craftsmanship they enjoy in West Bromwich, so, we persist.
Jose Sa – 5.5
“A bit harsh”, you say to me.
Firstly, how dare you speak to me, secondly, did anyone actually see this guy? Last seen offering Albion fans out in the concourse at half time. But seriously, Sa had a quiet game where he was rarely called upon. The closest he really got to danger was when Toti was trying to kill him.
Was this a defensive blunder, or was he trying to kill him? What does he know? Should we be scared? It’s a question to ponder over the international window.
5 as a base score, .25 for doing some basic goalkeeper-y things and .25 for keeping a clean sheet.
Hugo Bueno – 6
I dunno. I wouldn’t call him anonymous or unspectacular, but more understated and solid. He’s just a very good left back, and though at no point did I go “wow! What’s he doing!” I didn’t also go “What’s he doing?!”. C+. Better than average. Disgustingly handsome.
Nasser Djiga – 8
Oh, oho, ohoho! This guy man! What a revelation!
Djiga’s bright return to Wolverhampton continues on, with what was an absolutely rock solid performance in one of the biggest games he’ll ever play.
Not just being solid at the back, did you see that pass to Mane? Did you see him nearly score? Did you see him time his tackles to perfection? Unbelievable.
This time last year, I was telling Rangers fans we don’t want him back. Now I’d be telling Barcelona to stay away.
Toti – 7
Toti heard “YOU’VE GOTTA FUCKIN DIE TO GET THREE POINTS” and took it literally. He was trying to kill That Lot, himself, and Jose Sa. If you were moving within the touchline, you were considered a target.
Same as Djiga, he got his tackles spot on today. In a game like this, you are the breadth of a hair on gnat’s bollock’s Rizla away from giving away a penalty, a goal, or getting yourself sent off, and for me, he was inch perfect.
Kieran Trippier – 7
Mad this guy plays for Wolves, really. I think he was also solid, played well, got his passes right, and brought some much needed experience to the table.
He looked well up for it and wasn’t afraid to throw himself about a bit as well.
Marshall Munetsi – 7
It used to be a big meme back in the day that Nickleback sucked, despite them being Okay and Chad Kroeger being the guy who wrote Hero from Spiderman 2. St Anger still gets clowned on despite it being a passable album. Wolverhampton is the still the butt of “shit town” jokes despite every town and city in the UK now being a run down shithole.
What I’m trying to say is, people run with the ball on a punchline so much, we forget why it was a joke in the first place.
With that, I thought Munetsi was fantastic today. He wears 5 on his shirt, but plays like a 9 or a 10. Midfielders also shouldn’t wear number 5. He had an early chance and seemed to get everywhere. Jury may still be out on him in the round, but he’s a safe pair of hands in this league.
Andre – 8
My friend, look at this!
What did Andre do, you ask? He seemed to be kicking the dog shit out of anyone wearing an Albion shirt in the WV postcode area.
The heroes that get the plaudits in a derby are rightly, the ones who score the goals. However, the unsung heroes are the ones who decide to leave something on the other players, to let them know you, and everyone else, is there.
He was bolshy, he was solid, and he left you wondering how the hell he’s still playing for us. Doing a Benfica save on FM24 right now, he’s playing for Bayern! Bayern for Christ’s sake!
Rodrigo “Rodders” Gomes – 7
I think Rodders was good today, he ran like the Duracell bunny, got himself on the end of balls, and made things happen. 1-0 is the score, but it could have been a lot, lot more, thanks to the efforts of people like Rodders, and no thanks to Lev O’Yashin in goal for Them.
Fer Lopez – 8
You scored a goal, the winning goal against Them. That’s all that matters. You punched a chair after coming off, perhaps upset you wanted to punish them more? Love it. You were up off the bench, almost pushing the team over the line? You are a Wolf.
Gone from a wantaway loan back home to Celta and murmurs he was going to spend this season there and all. And yet. And yet. He is Him.
Mateus Mane – 7
Busy, busy boy today. He seemed to be everywhere, doing everything, and like Rodders, making it happen. I really cannot fault his performance today.
Well clearly I can as I didn’t give him a 10 but you understand what I’m saying.
As an aside, can we give him a chance please? He’s a 19 year old lad for Christ’s sake. Not every child prodigy is Max Verstappen or Lamine Yamal. Give him time, space, and a little love. He will come good. This is a Talking Wolves™ promise.
Adam Armstrong – 6
Can’t blame a guy for having to pretend to be Raul Jimenez today, however I did enjoy him shoving a Them player over. Maybe a bit disappointed/concerned he’s not the Npower bagsman he could be, but whatever.
Subs
JRB – 6
Didn’t do much in his 20 minute cameo, bar leave one on an Albion player and hyping the crowd up. He gets it. Good to see him back!
Tommy Doyle – 6
His grandad, get this, his grandad, played for City, and listen, scored against That Lot in the 1970 Cup Final. Apparently.
Lovely head of hair, somewhat anonymous performance but helped put the game to bed. Well done, and well done to your grandad.
Jordan James – 7
Now, if you wanna talk a lovely head of hair, you can set your watches to Jordan James’ well-mown barnet.
Maybe he didn’t do much, but he just looks the part. Sod the option, get him signed. Could’ve won a penalty if the referee wasn’t paid off.
Boubacar Traore – 6
We love seeing Boubs, don’t we folks? Hooray for Boubs! He came on at about the 90 minutes mark, ran about a bit, and won the game!
Sean Neave – 10
You might have missed it, but he wrestled a Baggies player to the ground. No real reason for it, just fancied it. Absolutely the sort of thing a third choice young striker should be doing. Get some minutes and kick a rival player to death.
No but seriously is there an option to buy?
And so, as we head into an international break, we say, may god bless Wolverhampton Wanderers.
